May 2011
2 posts
THE ROUND COMES TO A CLOSE AS A DEADLY FOE MEETS...
This round of Assassins has ended. The victor, with 6 kills, is the formidable Alan Starzinski, who struck down Nivedita Kulkarni this very afternoon. Here is his kill report, in full:
I write this letter after tussling in on the sidewalk with my would-be assassin. I had just come back from dropping off my laundry and getting some pizza; I had been in the habit of carrying my guns with me...
ALDEN FORD FINALLY DEAD, OR: NO, HE DOESN'T GET A...
ALDEN FORD was brutally gunned down yesterday, as we all knew he would be, yet another in an unstoppable killing streak by the vicious Nivedita Kulkarni. As Alden left his neighborhood laundromat, he was wary and alert, but as he ventured home, his springtime allergies gave him a three-sneeze fit which allowed his assassin to cross the street unnnoticed and put Mr. Ford out of his misery. See,...
