POOR ALISON RICH
Artist’s rendition of the look on Ms. Rich’s face at the time of her death. We employ incredibly meticulous rendition artists.
ALISON RICH, a first-time combatant in this round, was assassinated this evening in Chelsea in an epic chase and shootout.
Ms. Rich’s assassin contacted me this evening and was incredibly secretive about the circumstances involving her death. “Say she was killed in a shoot out behind a van,” her killer said. Okay, that’s what I’ll say.
Whatever the true story of Ms. Rich’s untimely demise, I will say this: THE COMPETITION IS HEATING UP. THERE IS A CAGEY, WEIRDLY SECRETIVE ASSASSIN ON THE LOOSE. SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN AND AVOID VANS APPARENTLY.
