BUSTIN’ TYLER, OR: J.T. FIZZLE
In a delightful act of secrecy, I received word of the death of JUSTIN TYLER via an anonymous email account. The email follows:
Yesterday evening I waited for Mr. Tyler, crouched next to a concrete pillar outside of his work place. I had received a tip from a trusted source that he would be there, but there was no way to know what time he would emerge. After about an hour, I began to think that I had missed him, as I had many times before. That’s when Mr. Tyler appeared, pleasantly unaware. I sprang into action, stalking him for a few blocks, bobbing and weaving through the crowds of Times Square, savoring the thrill before the kill. His bright green jacket made him an easy target to track. As I closed on Mr. Tyler’s heels, I slid my gun from my vest. Once along side him, I shot him twice in the chest. “Boom.” That was what I said. I couldn’t have told you beforehand that I would say that, but that is what I said. Boom.
Boom indeed.
Mr. Tyler has been a formidable and devious contender in previous rounds, and this one was no exception. But even he was not prepared for an assassin so cunning, so sneaky, that he or she has kept anonymous from even myself. WHO IS THIS NAMELESS KILLER? THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM HIM OR HER BECAUSE HOW DO YOU AVOID THAT WHICH IS UNKNOWN? HE OR SHE WILL DESTROY US ALL. INCLUDING BOTH GENDER POSSIBILITIES WEAKENS THE TONE OF MY DEFINITIVE UPPER CASE PROCLAMATIONS. THIS ASSASSIN MUST BE STOPPED AT ONCE.
Mr Tyler, your work here is done. You racked up two epic kills and hunted well. I’m sad to see you go, but I’m glad to know you won’t be around during Sudden Death to fuck me over.
SPEAKING OF WHICH:
SUDDEN DEATH BEGINS IN NINE HOURS. AS OF MIDNIGHT TONIGHT ALL REMAINING PLAYERS STILL IN THE GAME MAY HUNT AND KILL ANY OTHER LIVING PLAYER. WITNESS AND RADIUS RULES WILL STILL APPLY… FOR NOW.
