BECKY DIES-DALE, OR: ADD “-DALE” TO MY ERIK DIES WRITE-UP FOR MORE GREAT PUNS
Just when I thought the deadly Nivedita Kulkarni couldn’t get any more secretive, I receive the following email concerning her brutal assassination of BECKY DRYSDALE:
“Becky Drysdale dead - undisclosed time and location”
That is some chillingly non-informational shit.
Rest in peace, Becky. I don’t know when or where you died, but I know how: at the deadly, unflinching hand of the silent killer who will destroy everything in her path. You fought nobly, and tasted another’s blood before spilling your own. You have earned your place in Nerfhalla. There you shall join the masses of those who have died in foam-dart-based combat — heroes like Helgi the Fire Escape Climber, Hunding the Disguised, Sinfjötli the Needlessly Elaborate.
Nivedita doesn’t need do disclose the time and location of her next two kills. We all know the answers. “SOON” AND “RIGHT FUCKING BEHIND YOU.”
